So, you can imagine my shock and dismay when ...

... they said "cancer".

But since this is what finally caused me to write a blog, I'll start at the beginning ...

I first felt a lump in my right breast, I think, in May ... it could have been late April.  I was excited for my upcoming trip to Kansas City, Missouri to witness the Nauvoo Temple wedding of James & Hannah Michaelis ... son of my "lifelong" friend, Betsy Michaelis.  We were enjoying our final season of Eastlake High School lacrosse, Blake's prom, and end-of-the-year concerts, parties, & banquets.  Typically, I was squeezing too much activity into too little time ... but, hey, ... THAT'S HOW I ROLL!

It's almost as if the lump just "appeared" ... and even then, I didn't take much notice.  I remembered a Relief Society Homemaking Evening where someone was speaking on women's health issues and passed around a "training boob" (is there a nicer way to say it?) that had been loaded with lumps so that we could feel what we should be looking for in our own breasts.  I remembered those lumps to have been very round-like-a-marble feeling .... mine was "long".  So, basically, I wrote it off as being some kind of "irregularity" ... I was thinking that, here I was .. FIFTY-ONE ... neck-deep in menopause ... and all kinds of crazy stuff was going on in my body.

I had an awesome time in Missouri!

... got home just in time for Blake's Graduation & Party
... YSA conference
... Ward Campout
... took a Jeep adventure with Blake ... to Utah for his summer landscaping job (code for weed-picker)
... came home to have teenager fun with my niece, Kindred
... showers, parties, celebrations of every kind and description
... & prepped for Chad's mission homecoming

It was a fun & busy summer ... and somewhere along the line I morphed the "irregularity" into "maybe a breast infection of some kind" ... in my head.

Finally, that Voice in my head that knows what He's talking about said ... "You really need to get this checked".

Now, I had had a mammogram in 2008 ... I was a little behind ... maybe 6 or 8 months.  So I went online to make an appointment & received an automated response for an October 10th appointment.  I responded that I was happy to keep the appointment, but that I had felt a lump ... everything rolled at a pretty quick pace from there ... and not at the most convenient time ...  on Thursday, August 12th I had a mammogram.

And ... Chad returned from the Chile Santiago North Mission on Tuesday, August 17th at 10:30 a.m.  What a wonderful feeling to get a son back in your arms again after two years!  His siblings, niece & nephews, and grandparents had come to join in the week-long-group-hug! 

Two days later we celebrated Blake's Eagle in a Court of Honor overlooking a sunset reflected on Otay Lakes.

And after another two days we invited friends and family to join our missionary group hug for Chad.  He reported to the High Council and spoke in two sacrament meetings the next day.  It had been a heavenly week!  And, then on Monday they started to leave ...

And I was scheduled for a mammogram, ultrasound & consultation on Wednesday.  This was the first Harold knew of what was going on and he came with me to the appointment ... what a blessing!  When the radiologist confirmed at least 2 tumors in the breast and recommended that we go ahead with a biopsy that very day, I was comforted to know that my husband of 30 years would be by my side.  A priesthood blessing calmed my nerves and gave me courage and strength.

During a time when I should have felt frantic and powerless, the opposite has been true.  A cancer diagnosis ... with lymph node involvement ... was not terrifying, as it should have been, because I have felt the steady-ing hand of the Lord in each step.  When my surgeon calmly stated that my only option was a modified radical mastectomy, I felt the Holy Ghost confirm that what he was saying was true and correct.  I felt no fear in facing surgery for the first time in my life because of my confidence in the Lord and the way He deals with me.

And I was further blessed to be able to spend 10 days prior to the surgery with my college boys, Chad & Blake ... my Utah kids, Kendyll, Brad, Reed, & Shanna ... and my awesome grandbabies, Wesley, Jack & Avery!   Wow!  Seriously, how blessed can one woman be!?!

So ... I had surgery to remove my right breast and all the lymph nodes in my right arm pit on Wednesday, September 15th.  And it was OUT PATIENT surgery!  hahaha!  REALLY!  Again, just briefly I thought .. "no way .. how can I do this?".  A wise friend said to me, "well, I guess you just better change the way you are thinking about it" ... I immediately knew she was right.

I was blessed with a wonderful intake nurse who put me at ease, a wannabe stand-up comedian for an anesthesiologist (sp?), and an awesome surgeon, Dr. Bertucci.  My sister, Tiffany, was on-hand as soon as we arrived home and my parents, Bud & Pauline took over the reigns on Sunday.  My recovery has been better than I thought ... and, still a bit to go ...

And we received good news today when the surgeon staged my cancer at 2B or 3A .. very treatable.  Now, in the future I'm sure I will have lots of opportunities to share TMI ... but here's the first bit ... so stop now if you have a weak stomach ... hahahaha .. I SURVIVED the removal of one (there were two) of the gross drains that have been attached to me for the last week.  Tif was such a trouper to help me drain them twice a day .. yuck ... seriously, how disgusting is this ... the tube was at least 12 inches INSIDE of me ... augh ... I feel faint just thinking about it ... BUT ... I SURVIVED!  And that's the point, isn't it?

My sweet friend, Suzan, a cancer survivor for 8 years now, said to me ... and I will never forget it ... "radiation is hard, but it's lots better than chemo ... AND ... chemo is do-able!  That is my message for you (shannon) it's all do-able and you can do it!"  Thank you, thank you Suzan!

OK!  If you have made it to the end of this very long post ... I have just one more thing to say ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACK CURTIS ... THE CUTEST TWO YEAR OLD EVER!