Guess Where I Didn't Go Yesterday....

CHEMO!  Yep ... no chemo, no blood draw the day before, no 7 days of neupogen injections, no 10 days of feeling crudy ... no more chemo!  Yay!  Three weeks ago .. February 14th (I "love" that day) ... was my last of 6 chemo treatments!  It's amazing how time flies when you're having fun!  The next step is radiation ... a party, compared to chemo, I've heard!  I will go 5 days a week for 6 weeks ... 30 treatments in all.  ... And speaking of parties ... Kendyll and Shanna actually gave me a party last night to celebrate "no chemo" day ... they are soooooo sweet.  There was lots of yummy food and family.  And the blizzard that unexpectedly blew in hardly dampened our spirits.  I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so much love! 

It did seem to take a little longer to pull out of that last treatment, but as soon as I got feeling good, I made my way to Utah for a long overdue visit with my kids and grandbabies!  It's been a great time ... besides hugging Wesley, Jack and Avery ... I've had lunch with Chris Curtis (Brad's mom), gone to the Carl Bloch exhibit at the BYU MOA (don't miss it!) with my mom & dad & Blake, watched a couple of great and awful BYU basketball games, and gone to the new Church History Library with Reed & Shanna. 

But the really wonderful event of the last week was going to the Salt Lake Temple with Blake on Tuesday, March 1st.  If you didn't already know ... and I should have blogged about it sooner ... Blake received a mission call to the Netherlands Belgium Mission and is to report to the MTC on May 18th.  So, knowing that we would be coming up here and would be near lots of family, we made a plan to go to the temple.  Harold drove up with Blake & I, spent the weekend and flew back on Wednesday morning.  Joining us were Grandma & Grandpa, Aunt Marie & Uncle Richard, Kendyll & Brad, Reed & Shanna, Chad, cousin Katherine, and Dustin Drees.  It was a truly wonderful evening.  We gathered for dinner afterwards and next to being in the temple all together, I don't think I have any more joy, than listening to my children talk and laugh together.  It is heaven on earth!

One other special experience ... when my mom & I went to receive the names of women that we would be proxy for in the temple, I noticed that her name was a familiar name.  I also glanced at the stack of pink slips at the name that came after mine which was also easily recognizable.  But when the sister handed me the paper with  the name of the woman I would represent that night, she said, "I hope you speak Dutch".  Yes, she had been born in the Netherlands!  And I thought, "well ... I'll really butcher her name tonight, but in a couple of years when my son returns from his mission, I'll know how to pronounce it!"  The Lord certainly knows who & where we are!

So basically ...

no chemo
grandchildren
parties
fabulous art
family
temple

Life IS Good!

.... how hard can it be .....

Lesson #4 ... Sometimes ... pretty hard ....

I told you when I first started this blog where the title came from ... my poor friends over the years ... none more-so that Betsy have heard it time and again, "How hard can it be?" ... and I'm usually serious!  Like the time we cut & sewed! thick leather badges for the entire stake young women - nearly crippling us for life, or when we cross-stitched cutesy logos on half a dozen sweatshirts - hours and hours of stitching  (we did THAT more than once!), or most-famously when I insisted that she buy those two old recliners and some plaid, yes PLAID fabric (that needs to match perfectly) so that we could reupholster them - you guessed it .. no previous experience .... How hard can it be?  THAT debacle took us probably six weeks with one of the chairs literally being upholstered 3 times!  So, I admit it ... my main character flaw is that I think there's basically nothing I can't do ... no grip on reality!

But cancer is kicking my behind ... 

A friend has been pestering me about keeping a log of my symptoms and side effects ... and I'm like .. "Why would I want to remember this?"  But I think now ... Lesson #5 ... so that I can see my limitations ... and count my blessings ...

So, some of this will be boring for you, but I just want to document a little of what I've been through ... and here is my disclaimer:  I will be honest, but not graphic. I never mean to imply that my experience is the standard or that I am enduring this any better than anyone else.  TO THE CONTRARY!  I think I have been extremely blessed with mild side effects, so, "easy for me to be cheerful".

Here goes ..

I started my treatments on November 1, 2010.  The first one was kind of the hardest first, because I didn't know what to expect and second, because it's just such a shock to your body.  I had a little trouble just dealing with the IV. And I had heard from one friend that she had felt better within about 3 days (I later figured out that we had had totally different chemo treatments), so I went home expecting to be up and around in a couple of days.  When that didn't happen, I really struggled and pushed to make myself recover.  Of course, that didn't work ... hahaha ... Then, I was able to talk with another friend who had received the same chemo regimen that I was.  She gave me a more realistic view of  what to expect ... that it was really more of a 10-day thing ... and I was able to relax and accept the process.

The second treatment was much easier, but I think only because I was prepared ....

Each treatment basically goes like this:   Starting Sunday, the day before treatment, I begin a 3 day regimen of taking a steroid day and night.  It is designed to help my body better accept the chemo.  I've noticed I get bright red cheeks and think this might be a side effect of the "roids" as Blake calls them.  Sunday afternoon I go in for bloodwork.  I can't believe that I've gotten used to that!  Now, I just walk in, lay my arm up on the table & say "go for it .. the veins are good!"  (I've actually regularly prayed for my veins specifically and one time when I mentioned this to my chemo nurse, before she inserted the IV, she said quietly, "bless this vein") Then on Monday, we check in and have a consultation with my oncologist, Dr. Thomas Sweet ... yeah, SWEET!  He reviews my bloodwork, asks about side effects, and does a short physical exam to check my lungs, etc.  He's warm & funny & honest.  We like Dr. Sweet!

Then, we wait for a bit before being called into the chemo suite, a  long room with recliner-type chairs and some beds on either side of the room.  Each patient has a tv & vcr ... yes, vcr, haha, and a chair for one visitor, plus the tower hook up for the IV drugs.  My actual chemo isn't even mixed until I've seen my doctor and all my bloodwork checks out.  Then the fun begins!  I receive 3 different drugs in a regimen called "TAC".  One of the drugs is colored bright red to indicate its toxicity and has to be administered manually.  I suck on ice chips during that  particular drug because it has been shown that to do so helps in avoiding  mouth sores.  Thankfully it has worked well for me!  It takes about 3 hours to receive all the drugs.  It's not painful, and I've taken to sending Harold out for Subway or Arbys!

By the time we get home, I'm just tired.  I don't immediately feel ill.  In fact, even the next day I feel fairly normal.  Day 3, 4, & 5, I feel pretty creepy all over with aching joints and muscles.  I take two different anti-nausea drugs that have kept me on an even keel.  But by days 5, 6 & 7 (sometimes longer) I need to be close to a bathroom because the diarrhea hits ... often!  Also, for that first 7 days, I have a daily injection of a drug that helps boost my white blood cells and prevent infection.  My private nurse ... TRINA ... gives me the injection.  More needles .... yay ....

By day 8 & 9 I'm feeling pretty good and Day 10 is normal ..... then they hit me again in 11 days!  Whoo Hoo!

I hope this all reads ok ... cuz it's making me a little sick to my stomach to re-read it (I think that's why I didn't really want to document it) ... but, I can't tell you how blessed I am ...

no mouth sores
only slight nail discoloration
still haven't lost ALL my hair
no vomiting
pretty good sleeping

Soooo  many people have had it much worse than me.  So I count my blessings.  I'm on DAY 8 after chemo #5 ... sooo only one more to go!  I might just make it ......

... how hard can it be ......................

TODAY ... is not about me ...

today ... 

it's about Liz ...

Our dear, sweet friend flies home today after burying her husband of over 30 years in their hometown of Brigham City, Utah.  

No 50 year old woman should ever have to do that ...

The Gary I'll always remember is the guy who ...

is known as the "go-to" guy for whatever project you need done..

is full of integrity..

is always willing..

is the guy I never hiked a trail with, 

but cut all the wood to improve a trail for my son's eagle project..

what a guy ... and what a friend to all.

So, the third lesson of cancer is ... keep everything in perspective.

We love you, Liz