Lesson #4 ... Sometimes ... pretty hard ....
I told you when I first started this blog where the title came from ... my poor friends over the years ... none more-so that Betsy have heard it time and again, "How hard can it be?" ... and I'm usually serious! Like the time we cut & sewed! thick leather badges for the entire stake young women - nearly crippling us for life, or when we cross-stitched cutesy logos on half a dozen sweatshirts - hours and hours of stitching (we did THAT more than once!), or most-famously when I insisted that she buy those two old recliners and some plaid, yes PLAID fabric (that needs to match perfectly) so that we could reupholster them - you guessed it .. no previous experience .... How hard can it be? THAT debacle took us probably six weeks with one of the chairs literally being upholstered 3 times! So, I admit it ... my main character flaw is that I think there's basically nothing I can't do ... no grip on reality!
But cancer is kicking my behind ...
A friend has been pestering me about keeping a log of my symptoms and side effects ... and I'm like .. "Why would I want to remember this?" But I think now ... Lesson #5 ... so that I can see my limitations ... and count my blessings ...
So, some of this will be boring for you, but I just want to document a little of what I've been through ... and here is my disclaimer: I will be honest, but not graphic. I never mean to imply that my experience is the standard or that I am enduring this any better than anyone else. TO THE CONTRARY! I think I have been extremely blessed with mild side effects, so, "easy for me to be cheerful".
Here goes ..
I started my treatments on November 1, 2010. The first one was kind of the hardest first, because I didn't know what to expect and second, because it's just such a shock to your body. I had a little trouble just dealing with the IV. And I had heard from one friend that she had felt better within about 3 days (I later figured out that we had had totally different chemo treatments), so I went home expecting to be up and around in a couple of days. When that didn't happen, I really struggled and pushed to make myself recover. Of course, that didn't work ... hahaha ... Then, I was able to talk with another friend who had received the same chemo regimen that I was. She gave me a more realistic view of what to expect ... that it was really more of a 10-day thing ... and I was able to relax and accept the process.
The second treatment was much easier, but I think only because I was prepared ....
Each treatment basically goes like this: Starting Sunday, the day before treatment, I begin a 3 day regimen of taking a steroid day and night. It is designed to help my body better accept the chemo. I've noticed I get bright red cheeks and think this might be a side effect of the "roids" as Blake calls them. Sunday afternoon I go in for bloodwork. I can't believe that I've gotten used to that! Now, I just walk in, lay my arm up on the table & say "go for it .. the veins are good!" (I've actually regularly prayed for my veins specifically and one time when I mentioned this to my chemo nurse, before she inserted the IV, she said quietly, "bless this vein") Then on Monday, we check in and have a consultation with my oncologist, Dr. Thomas Sweet ... yeah, SWEET! He reviews my bloodwork, asks about side effects, and does a short physical exam to check my lungs, etc. He's warm & funny & honest. We like Dr. Sweet!
Then, we wait for a bit before being called into the chemo suite, a long room with recliner-type chairs and some beds on either side of the room. Each patient has a tv & vcr ... yes, vcr, haha, and a chair for one visitor, plus the tower hook up for the IV drugs. My actual chemo isn't even mixed until I've seen my doctor and all my bloodwork checks out. Then the fun begins! I receive 3 different drugs in a regimen called "TAC". One of the drugs is colored bright red to indicate its toxicity and has to be administered manually. I suck on ice chips during that particular drug because it has been shown that to do so helps in avoiding mouth sores. Thankfully it has worked well for me! It takes about 3 hours to receive all the drugs. It's not painful, and I've taken to sending Harold out for Subway or Arbys!
By the time we get home, I'm just tired. I don't immediately feel ill. In fact, even the next day I feel fairly normal. Day 3, 4, & 5, I feel pretty creepy all over with aching joints and muscles. I take two different anti-nausea drugs that have kept me on an even keel. But by days 5, 6 & 7 (sometimes longer) I need to be close to a bathroom because the diarrhea hits ... often! Also, for that first 7 days, I have a daily injection of a drug that helps boost my white blood cells and prevent infection. My private nurse ... TRINA ... gives me the injection. More needles .... yay ....
By day 8 & 9 I'm feeling pretty good and Day 10 is normal ..... then they hit me again in 11 days! Whoo Hoo!
I hope this all reads ok ... cuz it's making me a little sick to my stomach to re-read it (I think that's why I didn't really want to document it) ... but, I can't tell you how blessed I am ...
no mouth sores
only slight nail discoloration
still haven't lost ALL my hair
no vomiting
pretty good sleeping
Soooo many people have had it much worse than me. So I count my blessings. I'm on DAY 8 after chemo #5 ... sooo only one more to go! I might just make it ......
... how hard can it be ......................